Oh Happy Day

As I sit here with the window open I can hear the sounds of machine gun fire accompanied by sharp bangs (it's aboslutely true). Is it too much to hope that the long awaited revolution has started? Should I gather as many bottles as I can and start syphoning the petrol from my neighbours' cars (only a fool would use his own at current prices). Perhaps not. The sound of gunfire has died away and a desultory cheer has just gone up. It looks as though the revolution is over. Bugger, I've missed out again.

Typing was interrupted by the telephone. A foreign voice claiming to represent a 'research' company said it wished to ask me some questions. This time it was about the 'technology' I use in my home. 'Can I ask you some questions?' the foreign voice asked. 'No' the English voice replied and 'click' went the 'phone. That's the third time in a fortnight that I've been bothered by such people.

Stop press: The machine gunning must have been part of some sort of opening display for Lytham Proms, which is being presented as I type. Lesley Garrett has been performing and someone is singing the Liverpool FC anthem, which has brought a smile to the face of The Mrs Gruff (a Scouser).