Thursday 31 March 2011

Guess The Sex




Clue: The driver was not a man but was not responsible (they never are) and the court will no doubt take her tears into consideration. She's clearly not fit to drive, and equally clearly as thick as fucking shit, but that's no reason to prevent her from risking other lives by denying her hard won right to hold a licence, not by any means.

Mrs Pankhurst, whom Mr Pankhurst might reasonably have slapped about a bit (what jury would have convicted him), would have been proud of her. That video reminds me of the story, reported elsewhere on this blog, of the woman who drove along a railway line because the satnav had told her to. She was not responsible either. A society that endows the irresponsible with rights is doomed.

The sisters are doing it for themselves (I once infuriated a gaggle of misandrist feminists by adding 'until the batteries run out') and God help the rest of us.

Addendum:

Here's a video of the aftermath, notice that all of those sorting out the chaos and clearing up the mess caused by one extremely stupid young woman are men (this video and the text following it were added after the comment left by UBERMOUTH):



Rather than inventing 'pay gaps' between men and women, in pursuit of yet more profitable victimhood, it might be more illuminating to examine the relative costs, socially, economically and environmentally, of men and women.

Another:


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Zoom into the larger map to see the arrows indicating the direction of travel and wonder.

Steve Coogan as Gerry Adams


Billy Connolly on What Women Want

Spot on:



Just say NO!

Wednesday 23 March 2011

Mark Lawson Does David Mitchell

Another blind alley. Thinking that there was a remote possibility that Mark Lawson might pull something interesting out of his very small hat I clicked on the iPlayer link. After what seemed like an hour and a half I saw that I'd been yawning for fifteen minutes and, unable to take any more, closed it.

The good thing about the BBC is that no matter how boring, witless or mediocre the 'talent', nine terms at Camox Bridgeford will not adversely affect one's chance of a living on the licence payer, though it helps to have been up at Cambridge and not Oxford.

Christopher Hitchens Does Stand Up




Richard Dawkins in Action


Sunday 20 March 2011

Could Life Be Much Better?

I'm eating home made bread, my own, with home made preserved lemons, my own and eight months old but not quite ready, with olives and anchovies. I've run out of alcohol but the windows are open. the vernal equinox is now less than thirty six hours away and I know what to write. Could life possibly be much better?

Should I die tonight I will die happy, and life can not be better than that.

Addendum: Posted at about 03:10 on Monday 21st March.

Post Script: The vernal equinox occurred yesterday.

Friday 18 March 2011

In Uncertain Times

In case you've forgotten (and don't forget to hang, draw and quarter those traitorous bastards who've sold you into slavery - and never ignore the call when sounded), this is the song of a people who felt they possessed something worth dying for, and survived:



Get off your settees and prepare for hardship; you're going to have to fight or what you grandparents had, whether you wish to or not.

PS: The photograph shown in the link above is of US troops and the dependent slivers of metal displayed on the man's left breast are marksmen's badges. The equivalent award in the British army was to be allowed to double back to barracks, in full order, without a bloody good bollocking from the Sergeant Major.

The sign saying ' Better 'Ole' above the sandbagged entrance to a shelter refers to a Bairnsfather cartoon of the First World War.

The Spitfire is painted in a shade variously described as Photo Reconnaissance Blue.

The flag shown at the end is not fit to wipe one's arse on.

When War Comes Again to Europe

We may remember songs like this and sing them with as much passion and hope should war come again to Europe:



Pater Gruff served in the North Atlantic, the Mediterranean and the Pacific, and inculcated in me respect for those, sworn to kill him, whom he may have killed in the service of his king, and I might have been called upon to kill in the service of his successor.

We fight each other only because the few of those who speak our language and presume to call themselves our leaders cannot agree with the few who 'lead' those like us who speak another language.

I have no enemies but those who think of me as their enemy, and those I will oppose with such might as is mine until my last breath.

Are They Serious? (II)

More from the wonderful whacky world of 'recruitment' advertisements, both from Jobcentre Plus:

Firstly, and here, just to prove that I haven't made it up:

DIRECTOR

Job No:BPS/16682

Wage £6.15 TO £6.60 PER MONTH
Hours 37 HRS OVER 5 DAYS
Location LYTHAM ST. ANNES, LANCASHIRE FY8
Duration Permanent
Date posted 18 March 2011

Description:

'Good communication and telephone skills, need to be I.T. Literature. Will include answering the telephone taking reservations, checking guests in out, general typing and data inputting. Full training is given and work based qualifications are available if required. Shifts are 5 days out of 7 and include evening and weekend work
. . . '

£6.15 to £6.60 per month? I would draw your attention to 'need to be IT Literature (sic)', although I'm sure the mistake is attributable to the DWP and not the advertiser.

Secondly, and here:

DISH WASHER/DOMESTIC

Job No:BPS/16519

Wage £6.28 PER HOUR
Hours 7.5 PER WEEK, MONDAY-FRIDAY, 6PM-7.30PM
Location LYTHAM ST. ANNES, LANCASHIRE FY8
Duration Permanent
Date posted 21 February 2011

Description

'Previous experience is essential. Uniform and training/induction provided. Duties will include washing up, clearing tables and any general cleaning tasks as required. Successful applicants are required to provide an enhanced disclosure. Disclosure expense will be met by employer. . To apply ring the employer and speak to either Jayne'

'Previous experience is essential ... an enhanced disclosure ... '. That rules out redundant aircraft designers then, of whom there could be quite a few locally, if the Dynamic Duo don't stop butchering the armed forces with the defence machete. All that for a dishwasher's job.

Friday 11 March 2011

Another Annoying Exchange With A Brainless Robot

I'm almost too angry to type. I scrapped my car last October and 'phoned the insurer to cancel my policy. I was given some information that contradicted the information given to Mrs Gruff, when she had done the same a few days earlier, so I 'phoned again, and was given yet more contradictory advice. A third call confirmed that as I had scrapped the car the policy would have to be cancelled 'immediately' and the full outstanding amount plus a cancellation fee of more than forty pounds paid. Firm words followed, with an instruction not to cancel the policy, and I continued to make the scheduled monthly payments. Today I received notification of the automatic renewal of the policy at the end of the month, and called to cancel it, explaining, in reply to the dull robotic questioning of the operator I spoke to, why.

In a tedious and whining North Eastern accent the woman began droning on about charges, until I angrily informed her that I could not be charged for not renewing a contract that has expired. What drove my blood beyond boiling point was her statement that because I'd scrapped the car she would have to cancel the policy immediately and, to comply with the Road Traffic Act I would have to return the certificate within ... I was disinclined to listen to any more and hung up.

What is the point of that?

The vehicle for which the policy was created no longer exists so cannot be driven and the policy itself cannot be used for any other vehicle. The policy is paid up in full and no outstanding charges remain. The company has never requested the return of any other expired certificate. This is simply another petty rule devised by some half-witted and immature jobsworth, dead from the neck up and the waist down, with the intention of oppressing us all just a little more.

It beggars belief that there are people whose function is simply to dream up ways of irritating or annoying the rest of us more than they can already and enforcing them.

Monday 7 March 2011

Friday 4 March 2011

Are They Serious?



View Larger Map

Why have I posted this unremarkable Wigan street scene? I'm looking for work. I haven't worked for nearly eight months and I'm not claiming benefits. I am wholly supported by Mrs Gruff at present, as I have no money at all. My creditors are being disagreeable, quite aggressively so, so I need work, and I'm looking for work. Unfortunately the few jobs that are available are either outside my scope in some regard or simply not worth doing. However, I'm looking for work, which is how I came upon this advertisement at the Jobcentre Plus web site:

'Delivery person required for Parbold area. Duties are to deliver papers to peoples houses in local area. . Please post Current CV to Gemma' (Job No. SKM/31224, here)

A local newsagent, McColl's, requires applicants for a paper boy's job to submit a CV. I couldn't believe it either, although experience has taught me that it would have been unwise to have written that 'I've seen it all now'. I'm certain that somewhere, there are even more absurd things awaiting discovery.

Thursday 3 March 2011

Bicycle Trailer Tent




Anyone who has ever used 'nice idea' camping gear knows that it often has severe limitations and never quite works as in the animation. It's still a nice idea though.

Tuesday 1 March 2011

Ignorati? Mobocracy?

Regardless of how it may be pronounced elsewhere in the world, in England, and by English people, Mascarpone is not pronounced mask a pony.