Stories about Americans in England:
From a colleague, on the underground (about thirty years ago):
American: 'Oh pardon me, does this train goda lie-cester square.
Colleague: 'I'm afraid not. It does go to Leicester Square, though, if that's of any use to you'.
Amercian: 'O-o-oh'.
---
Personal, on the underground (about twenty five years ago):
American Woman: (to husband) 'George, it's four stops. Four stops George. Ya got that?'
George: (cringing and red faced, three seats away) 'Shure Hun.'
American Woman: (at next stop) 'Not this one George. It's three stops, OK? Three stops. Ya got that George?'
George: (turning purple, cringes again)
American Woman: (and so on at each stop, counting down)
Crowded Rush Hour Carriage: (struggles to contain itself, giving way to fits of giggles and laughter)
---
Personal, in York, in an 'antique' bric-a-brac shop, about fifteen years ago:
American Woman: (to Proprietress, and holding bone china item) Oh pardon me dear, this cup has no handle. Is it broken?
Proprietress: (irritatedly) No DEAR, it is NOT. It's a Georgian tea bowl; it's unusual and quite valuable. Don't break it.
American Woman: 'O-o-o-h.'
---
Personal, in York, in a specialist tableware shop (about fifteen years ago):
American Woman: (to assistant and pointing to a display of Wedgewood blue jasper ware) 'Is this the traditional English?'
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From Mrs Gruff, at breakfast in a Gateshead hotel (about ten years ago):
Waitress: (to group of American 'businessmen') 'Right then, are you ready to order breakfast?'
American Businessman: Uuh, yeah! I'll have bacon, crispy, eggs over easy, maple ... '
Waitress: (brooking no nonsense) 'So that's bacon and eggs then, is it?'
American Businessman: Uuh, yeah, I guess so.'
---
In fairness I should offer, though I would rather not, that I'm aware that the behaviour of our kind when abroad is all too often shameful rather than simply embarrassing, so we really cannot throw stones. However, the sketch is funny.
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