Vodafone: Bloody Awful - No Thanks

I've been an Orange customer for years, from the time Orange actually provided decent service, and have noted its steady decline over the years. However, things weren't bad enough to prompt a change of provider until EE took the company over. I'm not a mobile phone junkie - I can go for months without using my phone for anything more than checking the time - so being without a phone doesn't bother me but not unreasonably I consider that I should be able to use it when I need to, so I decided some time ago to change provider. I decided to try Vodafone and last night, on impulse, bought a SIM card, which I've just tried to use, which is far easier said, or written, than done. I can't do so without a network key, which is not provided with the SIM card, and obtaining it seems to be impossible. The web site - at which I cannot register without my phone number, which I cannot obtain until I can call a certain number, which I cannot do until I have topped up my account, which I cannot do without the network key - is useless.

The obvious solution was to call the Customer Service desk on our land line, which I did but Vodafone's automatic call router, or whatever it's called, stumped me. After listening to an irritating female voice, with a nearly hysterical edge, I began the interminable process of pressing buttons and listening to further useless messages, eventually coming to 'please enter your phone number now (or words to that effect). Press 'hash' if you do not have a number.' I pressed #, only to hear again 'please enter your phone number now. Press 'hash' if you do not have a number.' I pressed #, only to hear again 'please enter your phone number now. Press 'hash' if you do not have a number.' I pressed #, only to hear again 'please enter your phone number now. Press 'hash' if you do not have a number.' I pressed #, only to hear again 'please enter your phone number now. Press 'hash' if you do not have a number.' I pressed # and then I gave up.

The solution to my problem is of course to write off the £0.99 cost of the Vodafone SIM card as yet another of life's myriad small annoyances and move on, choosing another SIM card from another provider, although not Orange (now EE), whose lousy non-service prompted the abortive switch to Vodafone. That's the joy of the 'free market', isn't it: dissatisfied with product, service or provider A one can move on to product, service or provider B, although one can never recover the numerous wasted small sums nor obtain even a penny in compensation for the fruitless telephone calls, the frustration, stress and time wasted trying to use seriously flawed products and services. A more accurate term to describe what is laughably called the 'free market' is the spiv economy, in which customers are merely mugs to be swindled by wide-boys. I'll have a look at some forums before wasting another quid.