A Jolly Good Chortle

It's always nice to find something to laugh at on a sunny summer Monday morning. This was in my spam filter this morning:

From Mrs Rebecca Williams

N�[38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody

Abidjan, Cote d'Ivoire

ATTN:
DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait . I am married to Mr Benson Williams, who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don抰 have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don抰 want my husband抯 efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don抰 want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don抰 need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband抯 relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan . I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information抯, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your
reply.

Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs Rebecca Williams.

'Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose.' I'm still laughing.

Lurchers

I don't keep dogs. I don't live in surroundings that are fitted to dogs and think it cruel to keep them out of a suitable environment but were I 'pleasantly situated' I would be delighted to share my home with a pair of lurchers. Lurchers, real lurchers, are, for me, without doubt the most appealing of all canines: Intelligent, fiercely loyal, stable and 'take-it-for-granted' dependable, they embody the characteristics of a good wife or, for a woman, a good husband (the two are the same if viewed from different sides of the same coin), or the comrades one relies upon to watch one's back when one's back is against the wall.

Lurchers, real lurchers, are English dogs: scruffy mongrels bred out of necessity in the face of adversity with the sole purpose of surviving one's foes through disciplined teamwork. They are possessed of a beauty and purpose that is theirs alone. That lurchers are now fashionable means nothing other than that those obsessed with fashion have run out of fashionable types to show and, in their relentless quest for novelty, have latched on to that which they have always recognised but never understood: The 'unspoiled'. Much in the way that Lady Chatterley recognised, yet failed to understand, the 'bit of rough' in a bit of Parkin (Lawrence's little joke?). Anyone who has ever smoked a rough shag will readily understand (that little 'hit' at the back of the throat).

Lurchers are hunters' dogs; real hunters, not those chinless idiots who would have you believe that their right to ride roughshod over your rights is essesntial to your freedoms.